We are all far more self-involved than others realize. The spotlight effect is one of the most helpful concepts to help me push through hard times. Essentially — we usually assume that other pay more attention to us than they actually do. Often one of the most comforting things somebody can remind me about is that nobody really cares that much. I actually had myself so convinced of that at one point that I became shocked to find out that people were talking about me and my life. So — not to say it will never happen — but just realize that everybody has their own shit going on — always. And, if they’re acting unkind or judgmental — that’s their own stuff. Just like when I catch myself in judgment of somebody else, I am doing it to feel better about myself, I can recognize that when others judge me, it is to shield themselves from their own pain. Doesn’t make it fun in the moment, but it makes it easier for me to have compassion — for them, and for myself. My favorite line here, Daniel is this one: “But you’ve got to get that you’re okay as you are first.” YES. It starts with self-acceptance. You are ok exactly as you are. And so am I. :)