Dr. Laura Gallaher
1 min readNov 8, 2018

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Both “need” and “should” (from my other highlight of this post) are words on my “do not use list” — because I don’t WANT to use them. :) I learned how they create artificial and external pressure on me and others in dialogue. One of my favorite examples of this is budgeting. I am not a fan of budgeting, so my self talk (or talk to others — haha!) used to be “Ugh, I have to do my budget.” As you can imagine, this was not very inspiring. But I can detach from the task itself and focus on the why — why am I doing the budget? After asking “why” a few times, I arrive at the following: “I have an important message that I want to share with the world because I genuinely believe it will be a better place when more people experience it, so I want to make effective decisions with my current finances to enable me to grow the business and expand my reach and my impact.” Now, I get to say: “I want to do my budget!” — And the actual minutes spent on budget are attached to my “why” which enables me to stay away from words like “need” and “should” — which honestly make me cringe now when I hear them. Practice “could” instead of “should” and “want” or “would like” instead of “need.” Great post, Ben!!

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Dr. Laura Gallaher
Dr. Laura Gallaher

Written by Dr. Laura Gallaher

I am an Organizational Psychologist — obsessed with helping leaders break through self-limiting beliefs and Level Up! Free guide at Gallaheredge.com/3steps

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